my heart is the captain of this ship, but my head is the first mate callin the shots on deck. the first mate isn’t always loyal to the captain’s wishes. the first mate is both hungry for control and power but also capable of humility and obedience.

one version of the first mate will turn everything the captain says to be in his own favor, the other version sees eye to eye with the captain and happily executes his orders.

sometimes the captain and first mate are very close and truly understand each other, but sometimes the first mate isn’t willing to dig deeper to try to feel where the captain is coming from. sometimes the first mate makes decisions against the captains orders when he doesn’t understand. sometimes he’s just too afraid to do what the captain asks because he lacks faith.

but of course, with the chain of command as it is, when the first mate steps out of line, making his own rules, and wrecking havoc, the captain does not abide.

my heart has become tired of my head this week and chose to take over yesterday. my head set up a bunch of rules for me to follow so that i do only what i’m “supposed to do” but my heart does not abide.

i’ve given my heart the power it has. i’ve encouraged it to lead, to explore and to take me where i need to go even when my head cannot see a clear path to make sense of it. had it not been for this practice before now, i doubt my heart would be strong enough to override my unruly head.

i’m so thankful for all of the time i’ve spent cultivating a keen ear to hear what my heart is saying even when it whispers. in my opinion, you can’t just wake up one day and decide you will “listen your heart” especially if you never have or have betrayed it before.

you actually have to take the time to be still and practice listening, only then can your heart be heard. i think at times you even have to convince your heart that you are open to receive it’s calling by showing up repeatedly to listen even when it doesn’t speak.

i’m committing myself to more meditation in my life. i feel it deep down inside me, my entire being needs more heart — less know-it-all bullshit from my head, more faith and daring greatly from my heart.

from deep within, V