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I was just being honest. For all of you who worried about me, thank you, but i think your energy could be better spent somewhere else. It’s not that i don’t appreciate you caring, I just don’t think my last email said anything alarming. It was just regular, real life, human talk.

Speaking of real life, human talk, last night my minions and i were talking about faith, trust & belief. it was a beautiful conversation full of passion, curiosity and vigor. no one person had the best definition of any of these words, but each of us had experienced something that gave us feelings towards them.

faith is the one that really sparked my interest. it seems, for many of us, religion has masked the truth about faith. i think it’s mostly due to the overuse of the word.

the truth about faith is…

you cannot learn it from someone else, YOU must experience it to understand.
[so… honestly, you should probably just stop reading here…]

and faith doesn’t exist out of thin air, it’s built by each individual who has it. faith doesn’t have to be in God, faith can be in life. faith can be found in circumstances. faith can be in everything and in nothing at the same time. faith can be whatever the fuck you want it to be, but it’s not what someone else told you it is.

My faith is in humans, it’s in the earth, and it’s in the space that contains us all. There is a high vibration in the space surrounding the earth and all it’s inhabitants. It’s another word that cannot be defined because you only understand through your own experience of it. This energy that binds us is love.

My faith is in humans, the earth, and the space that contains us because of the mysterious binding force holding us all together that we call love. I have come to believe that love contains contentment, peace, comfort, joy, creativity, infinity, compassion, empathy, understanding and ultimate freedom.

With all the big and little things that could be the end of the world, if my faith is in abundance, nothing can be the end of the world, no one thing can knock me off my feet. My faith becomes my super power.

It seems to me faith is believing that things, as they are right this very second, are perfect, even if i have yet to fully understand how. people too, faith is believing that people, as they are right this very second, are perfect, even if i have yet to fully understand how.

Asking a human to “have faith” is like asking them to wear invisible armor into battle. If you are struck down, was it the armor that let you down, or the lack of faith in yourself and the circumstances.

i don’t know where exactly i’m going but i am going really fucking far and i’m leanin on faith to carry me through the unknown.

my tuesday shout out to you is “keep trekkin. we aint dun yet.”

with love from Kansas, Veazey

I hadn’t fucked up in a long time. Not really anyway. I forgot what its like… but now, i’ve just fucked up so bring on the memories.

The shame, the self-debilitating talk, the feeling of disappointment not only from others but from myself, and thought after thought of wanting to go back and erase something.

You don’t get to erase anything though. Life is interesting that way. All you can do it paint over what’s already there. Create from where you are.

I’ve noticed this human tendency when we fuck up, we want to start over, but that is so rarely an option. When they can’t start over, people freeze up, sometimes panic, or lose their imagination and not be able to move forward because shit did NOT go as planned, it’s not perfect and it got fucked up.

“Now i don’t want it anymore.” Says the kid with the fucked up project. But if you don’t want to own it, with all the fuck-up-ness and you turn away from it, you’ll stay right there, stuck in that fucked up place forever.

Just like everything else, fuck ups must be accepted. Not only accepted but forgiven and embraced so that love can be put into the new solution. Nothing stays the same, so moving forward, how will you impact the course correction?

Fuck ups lead to beautiful mistakes all the time. But only if the fuck up isn’t abandoned. Where you are, in all your flawed glory, you must become the new canvas, as is. Start creating new on top of the canvas and lay it on thick so it can seep down into the fibers and rather than be a story built on broken pieces, it’s a story about healing broken pieces back together.

A message from your friendly-neighborhood human, Veazey.

p.s. i’m sorry i haven’t written in a while. things have been hard. things have also been magnificent. anyway, here’s my first attempt at getting back into my writing. i’m glad to be here, because i neeeeed this <3 and i’m so glad you’re here, human connection and support is absolutely necessary.